Brother Bee’s Birthday Flames

And I thought I’d have nothing to post this morning to recap the weekend. MomBee and DadBee were here on Sunday to celebrate Brother Bee’s birthday. It’s actually on Oct. 1, which he liked to remind us over and over and over. But seeing as how my parents are travelling next weekend, they came down a bit early.

I made pies. Yes, pies, with an S. Complete with made from scratch crust. This is sort of an important family point to make because besides the secret rolls, pies are what we bake. So I started at o’early thirty making pies. Brother Bee loves pumpkin pie for birthday cake, so he got a ginormous pie. But Hubby Bee doesn’t like pumpkin, and his fav is key lime. So I made a key lime pie. BUT, what if our other guests didn’t like either? So, I made an apple pie too. Complete with lattice work on the top. I should have taken pictures. Damn. But not that i’m bragging. Just showing you how I spend my Sunday mornings. Making pies.

So we invited a few friends over to enjoy Birthday Pie and give my brother his gifts (mine, of course, came from Busted Tees). It was all good. Watched a little football, ate some pie, yum.

As everyone started to leave, Brother Bee also got ready to head back to the dorms in his most awesome 1985 Volvo station wagon. This car has been in the family since right after I was born. It is the one and only car that my parents have driven off a car lot, brand new. But that was 23 years ago. Now the car is missing it’s identity from the back, the tail lights don’t work, one is busted out. The A/C hasn’t worked for years and I think the brakes have been replaces 2 or 3 times. Not to mention the trouble there has been with the catylitc converter. The leather seats are totally worn down…it’s a piece of crap. Seriously. Adam Sandler wrote his “Piece of Shit car” song about this volvo. There’s been lots of love aimed at this car…it’s been well used. So, when the following events occured outside my neighbor’s house I wasn’t that surprised:

Brother Bee left my house to get in the car. My friends and parents were milling about in the front yard. We heard my brother start his car, and then a yell

“Um, MOOOM!!! Is my car supposed to be doing that?!?”

There was smoke engolfing the hood of his car. All around it. Smoke pouring out from under the hood.

“NNOOOOO!! Turn your car off!! And pop the hood”

As my mom so bravely lifted his hood, we saw flames. FLAMES. My brother’s car was on FIRE!!! Holy shit. So I ran inside to grab our kitchen fire extinguisher. Which, by the way, never buy. It lasted all of 30 seconds and didn’t put the fire out at all. I’m not sure how it would have put out a kitchen fire at all. A little scary, but I didn’t really have time to think about it as my brother’s car was still on fire. This was about the point where my neighbors started wondering why the block smelled like burnt plastic and fireworks. I ran back inside, upstairs to grab our big household fire extinguisher. Not that I needed it as, thankfully, all my neighbors were running out with theirs. How embarrasing.

Finally, we got the fire under control without having to call the fire department, which, yeah we probably should have done in the first place, but too late. The fire was out, I have no fire extiguishers, and there’s a POS car outside my house surrounded in white powder. Excellent. It looks a little like we live in an LA slum. Or at least are the kind of people that drive cars that just start up in flames, but with a little fire extinguisher you can just put it out and keep driving it. Nevermind the ‘67 chevy we have on cinder blocks in my back yard.

Unfortunately, my brother is out a car…which to a college freshman is devistating. Plus, he really loved that car. It’s like when I blew out the engine of my ‘75 VW Bug. I was sad. My brother might have cried a bit. I don’t know. He caught a ride with my friend who also lives on campus. The fate of the family car has yet to be decided. Luckily, the neighborhood is still in tact. Second event of the day that needed a picture. Shoot. Literally.

Good thing to come out of all of this? My neighbor learned that his son is a brave soul. As she explained to me: “He came right in and got me and told me that we needed a fire extinguisher.” I’m so proud of him. I think he’s about 7 years old, and he is so brave! I only hope that everyone elses’ children in my neighborhood are so calm and collected when I almost set their fence on fire.

Speaking of chairs…

A while ago I posed about my obsession with bowls, crocks, and recipies that go well in bowls. I am absolutely loving the set of bowls I recently purchased from Crate & Barrel. However, this will not be another rambling about how we love bowls.

Just today a thought popped into my head while searching some of the bizarre places that my blog is linked. One particular blog is about the Boggs family name, which consequently is my mother’s family, and it links every time I write something about the Boggs family. Maybe I get brownie points for how many times I mention the Boggs family. Who knows.

However, there is a distant relative of mine that is quite the craftsman. He makes chairs as a living. Now, how many people do you know that actually own chairs from a professional craftsman. No, the guy behind the big machine at the Pottery Barn factory who only screws in the legs of a chair that will look like 10 million other chairs is NOT what I’m talking about.

Brian Boggs (and I realize now that I should have made this a Great Find Friday) is my mother’s cousin who is the chairmaker. He makes chairs professionaly by hand. They are custom Kentucky build and feel fantastic for a wooden chair. A lot of people may think that wood chairs, unless they are in your kitchen are uncomfortable, but who doesn’t love a wooden rocking chair? Put that in a nursery or in your living room to just sit in and read a book, and viola! It might just put you to sleep.

Brian is constantly featured in woodworking magazines, home furniture magazines, and is Berea, Kentucky’s best kept secret. If you’ve never travelled to Berea, or much less Kentucky, you should stop there. This is a town that is so wonderfully preserved in Early American culture that you really feel at home. They have a fantastic hotel there and the entire town hires students from Berea College, in order for these students to work to earn their education. As far as I know, to applicants, Berea College is free and the students must work in the town. However, what a way to earn an education. This “quaint” little town in Kentucky is a great place to spend a day and enjoy the break you’ll have from capitalism, big boxed stores, and carbon copies of everything one could buy at a furniture store.

And if you’re there, stop by the chair studio, and say hello to Brian. He has been making chairs literally my entire life and though I don’t get to see him at all, maybe twice in my life, and he only has a faint recognition of who I actually am, he held a very dear spot in my grandmother’s heart, and so I am very proud to call him my relative.

Chairs and bowls aside, I think it is great when you have a person, or multiple people in your family of whome you can be proud of. I am incredibly proud of all the people in my family, close or extended, because they all come up with something unique to their character. So of them have yet to decide, but it’s so fun when I can say, Oh yeah, my cousing designed my business logo or Talk to my mom about that she’s an interior designer. Plus, it makes me proud of myself to know that my mother-in-law says, ask my daughter-in-law about that because she’s an event planner and can give you some really good ideas.

I think everyone needs to be proud of who they are and where they come from. I know I am, hense the blog.

Shirts that really say something

Have you ever come up with a ridiculous joke that so funny to you, but not to anyone else? Yes, I know. We’ve all done it. My dad’s current favorite is:

Why did the mushroom get invited to the vegetable party?

Cause he’s a Fun-gi!

Or some other variation of this joke.

I not-so-recently stumbled upon a T-shirt website that has the FUNNIEST, somewhat inappropriate shirts that appeal to everyone. It is called Busted Tees. Here’s a small sample. Now, you kinda have to understand some of them to get them, but check ‘em out! I just bought a few more for some family members.

You know…it’s a coodie catcher….

I sincerely hope this is self explanatory.

Stop, stop, stop!! I NEED MORE COWBELL!!

Let’s make Nancy Drew Drinks.

I really want you just to figure this one out.

This shirt currently resides in Brother Bee’s closet. Especially close to me because of our Amsterdam Adventure.

And my personal favorite:

Did you hear about the fire at the circus last night??

It was INTENTS!

P.S. The right to bear arms. Get it? BEAR arms…

The Economy and You

Everyone seems to be in a bad mood lately. Whether it’s because of the weather (because we know where I live, if we don’t get our 300 days of sunshine a year, it’s a shitfest), or the fact that this group of people told me they were coming in at 8:30am and when I pulled up to work today they were HERE. At 7:45am. And somehow I fail to see how it’s my problem they were 45 minutes EARLY. OR the fact that one’s internet is not allowing them to access my work website, when I can get to it just fine, so clearly it’s not my fault it’s not working. It’s yours. Technology isn’t a MIRACLE, people! So, my morning has been just jolly.

Add on top of that the fact that the sky is falling around Wall Street and people are running around like Chicken Little. Which actually puts a quite funny scenario in your head if you invision Wall Street with all its lighty-up boards and computers with little cartoon chickens in spectacles and sweater vests running around with their wings in the air screaming, “The Sky is FALLING! The Sky is FALLING!” Throw in an immensely obese pig that faints at high blood pressure, and DING! The economic crisis doesn’t look so bad. In fact, you might find yourself chuckling.

However, this doesn’t really stop you from feeling that you should feel some kind of chaotic pain deep in your membranes about what is going on with the bigwigs of the insurance/mortgage/banking/suit & tie world. Maybe it makes you want to scream, “YOU RETARDS. How could YOU let it get THIS BAD. Don’t you know that the WORLD’S economy depends on OUR economy.” Or something equally as loud and probably uneducated as that, which is what I just screamed at NPR on my way in to work.  I’m not saying that you’re uneducated, I’m saying that as much NPR as I listen to, I’m still not a banker and have no idea how all of this is going to affect me personally. I’m not going to lie, but a lot of me thinks that I won’t be touched that much by this because my mortgage is in good standing, and whatnot. But economical times are not fun to talk about and make for a ridiculously boring blog material for Queen Bee to talk about.

But seriously, is the Dow dropping 500 points really going to stop me from spending $50 filling up my tank?  No. Not really. It IS going to make me cringe my face into a deeply distorted snarl as I watch the number flip over the $50 mark and curse under my breath the assholes that are making my car require gas and therefore all the people involved with inventing, manufacturing, marketing and requiring me to own a car to get to work and basically live my life. Pretty much everyone, damn you H. Ford! Then I remember that I do not want to move to New York where I could take the underground to get to work, but then I’d have to deal with smelling like New York my entire day, which even not knowing what that smells like, I don’t think it’s roses and evergreens. Or fresh air for that matter. So I’ll spend the $50 and not complain.

Meanwhile, having driven my expensive (don’t confuse this with luxurious) car to work, I will sit here and talk to people that want answers, but don’t want to listen for them and remember that the economic crisis doesn’t make people cranky, getting up without the sun makes people cranky.

StarDate, September 19th.

When I was in grade school, middle school and high school before I could drive, I had the pleasure of being escorted to school by my dad.  Sometimes he’d even pick up a couple of my friends and tote their asses to school as well. Unfortunately, I’m not sure my father got very much thanks from it. In fact, I know he got a lot of, “Daaaaddd, your radio station is SO boring!!” This due to in part because every morning we’d listen to NPR (National Public Radio) from the second the car started to the time I got out of the car. You’d think that this would help with my current events section of Social Studies, but I was so glad to get out of the car that I didn’t retain much, when in actuality, I probably knew more about current events than any of my classmates.

This is just one of the guilty bags that hangs around my neck, because today, I can’t get enough of public radio. I bitched and moaned as a 14 year old, but now, it’s like, PLEASE LET THIS DAY BE OVER so I can get into my car and listen to RealTime. I also find myself sitting in my car long after I have parked it at work listening to what has got to be the best two minutes in NPR, ever: StarDate. Seriously. I’m not kidding. From 7:58 to 8:00, Sandy Wood tells you about what’s going on in the stars, what to look forward to, or why galaxies are why they are. It’s great. And totally calming before I enter the Crazytown that is my office.

Check it out. It’s great. Couple that with Car Talk on Sundays and Prairie Home Companion, fabulous!

Ok, you can stop giggling now and let out that big , NEERRDDDD. Just get it out of your system. Just do it. I’ll pretend I didn’t here and won’t give you crap when you decide StarDate is the greatest thing EVAR!

The Postman rings twice

But the cable guy, he no ring at all!
Thank you, Mr. President for the unstimulating economic check you sent me in June which HubbyBee and I promptly spent on a 47″ flat screen TV. Actually, that check went directly into the savings account just to spite. Then we took HB’s bonus from work to Costco and walked out with a TV that didn’t fit into our car. We did everything to wedge that sucker into the back of his Mazda 6, but it was a no go. So we had to call CBee with his truck to come get us. Is this America? I think so. We purchased a TV that was SO big, it didn’t fit into our car. Don’t feel bad for us, please. It looks just as ridiculous in our living room as it did in the parking lot of Costco while we were sitting on the curb waiting for CBee to come across town to bail us out.

However, that was not the end of our problems. We have spent the next three plue months fighting our universal remote. The TV hates it. And us. I am currently sitting on the couch living what has been our life ever since we got this damned thing. With the new cable box (because of the HD channels) and the new TV, and even our new remote, I can’t get the cable to turn on. Yes, I could go up to the box and change the channel manually, but have you tried to channel surf 729 channels? Half of them you don’t get? It’s a freaking nightmare!

So, I just sit here until the TV decides to stop throwing a fit and let me change the channel. Most of the time I’m stuck watching Sports Center until it behaves, or right now I’m stuck listening to Eurythmics “Here Comes The Rain Again.” Remember that song? From their 1983 album Touch? “Here Comes the Rain Again. Falling on my head like a memory. Falling on my head like a new emotion.” “I want to talk like lovers do.” God the eighties were weird. But I digress.

The cable company has no idea what’s going on. But they did let us know that our cable box was not registered, so they went ahead and did that and we lost all of our free movie channels. Damn. But I STILL CAN’T USE MY REMOTE. Not only that, but I can’t change to DVD, Wii, VCR. This sucks.

OH! But The Pretenders “Boots of Chinese Plastic” just came on. ’scuse me, I need to rock out. Or something.

Transcendence from the land of the non-bloggers

I’ve been on a hiatus from my blog for a while. It has a lot to do with me being swamped at work (my primary location for blogging, I know, I KNOW) and a lot to do with the fact that I don’t seem to have any ideas or experiences that are worth blogging about. Nothing seems to strike me as crazy, funny, serious or even useful enough to put on here.

Now I know that there are some hopefuls out there that constantly check my blog looking for some evidence of my survival, only to find themselves disappointed by my lack of creativity. I’m sure there are at least two people out there? Right? See, there you are! Anxiously awaiting my thoughts on the Sa*ah Pa*in “phenomenon” Manamana..DO DO DO DO DO. Manama..DO Do DO DO. MANAMANA! WOAH. Is that how you feel too?

But you know, work has got me a little distracted.

Plus, there’s Girl Scout lesson plans to write, people that think I’m moving across the country and letting my in-laws know but being completely wrong, and the business to run. All of this might appear that I’m just bitching and moaning, but I’m just REALLY BUSY and explaining why there’s not foder for the fire.  The electronic internets fire. The balls…they’re all clogged in my brain and I can’t get them out. And it’s making me appear insane. Oh right, and I have a gazillion friends that are pregnant and delivering within the year that I ridiculously offered to make Baby Books for.

Top that onto the fact that I can’t seem to create anything new with Mommypie around. First she writes an amazing post about 9-11, RIGHT BEFORE I can get mine out. Add another block to the writer’s wall that is forming in my mind. Then, she steals photographs and blogs the Devil House, for Steph’s meme, which is totally the one I was going to do. Yep, mason, get some more cement mix ready, this one’s going to be big. I know this is all payback for the mystery dinner that I hosted, which we totally had connecting brain waves on, and she let me handle. Man, karma is a bitch. But in all honesty, you’d all rather read what Mommypie has to say about the Devil house. I’d be more, WOWZA this house is weird. Where she is all, I had a near-death experience with this house!

So, today, I have resolved to leave you with this total rambling on why I’ve gone MIA on my blog. But I’m coming back. I have to show you the 2nd ugliest house in town…and I know which one it is, and I have to show you my 12 ador*ble Girl Sco*ts that are awaiting my dead and shriveled brain to come up with something fun and creative by 3 pm today. CRAP. Luckily the weather is still nice enough that I can make them run laps or something.

Why I can’t seem to come back to my blog…

This is Ernarcia. My being. I created him on the new game Spore. To risk sounding too nerdy, yes it’s a computer game, and yes I’ve been waiting for about a year for this game to come out.

Remember The Sims? Well, it’s by the same creator. See? It’s not THAT bad. It’s like The Sims only you get to design creatures and take them through evolution and the standard way creatures evolve into higher species. By either charming or eating your fellow planet dwellers. I chose to be an herbivore to avoid the whole “hunting and eating” other cute creatures that live on your planet.

My planet is EYARTH. Ok, I know that doesn’t look that creative, but do you remember the part on Lilo & Stitch where the little green guy is like, “Planet EEEyyyAARRRTTTHH”? No, aw well. That’s what it is. And I live on this planet with my little clan of Ernarcias as we make our way to gaining DNA and growing a bigger brain (my brain my creature’s brain has been upgraded a couple of times). Then we’ll eventually take over other civilizations and the planet and the UNIVERSE. Because we’re genetically evolved. And shit.

Then I’ll really have something to blog about.

Wedding Invitations

This week’s Great Find is a wedding invitation designer, The Green Kangaroo,  who recently sent me a sample of a great invitation. They sent me the sample because of my business, Icing on the Cake Events, that I run with a friend of mine. It is great to get samples from companies like that because there are so many wedding invitiation styles and companies. Now, I can start a collection of samples for brides to sort through.
Take a look at their website, even if it’s just to see what amazing things they are doing with invitations and the great color palettes they are coming up with.They also offer an extensive line of personalized stationary, and who doesn’t love personalized anything?

This is also a great site for brides to see the different examples out there and how they can create something themselves without too much work, but a whole lot of influence.

Search me, if you dare!

I’ve finally come about in the blogging world. I stand on the podium, today, a proud member of the Society for Obscene and Bizarre Word Searches.

Hi, my name is Queen Bee and my blog was violated by someone searching.Thank you all for being with me in my time of horror, with a smirk.

Today my blog was violated by “my moms hots”

I’m not sure I even know what that means, or if I did…why you would be searching for that anyway.